Anxiety struck since the day I gave birth
Five weeks later, a death occurred
Traumatised, unable to cope
Stuck in deep thought with raw emotions
I appreciate my own company, anti-social tendencies
Yet the one who needed quality time was met with isolation
Little faith in humanity
Family is just a word in the English dictionary
I can count everyone I love on one hand
That doesn’t surprise me.
Surrounded by love, what a beautiful way to say goodbye to 2019, the hardest year of my life. My fears bubbled up to the surface, questioning everything I believed. Death, pain and heartache were lingering in the shadows, waiting to pounce. It all happened within a year, a matter of months. Battling each demon, I tried hard to conceal. Deflated, they took every ounce. But like a phoenix, I rose from the ashes, reborn.
I knew life was temporary, we’re all born with an expiry date. It didn’t truly click until reality slapped me across the face. The child looking back at me, a blessing, required strength, a happy environment. To find peace, I had to communicate my truth. Address the broken promises. Met with sweet words yet actions never matched. Settling wasn’t written in my cards, I deserved more.
Moving on to better things
Finally prioritising myself
The message is clear, my patience is low
I grew up a dreamer
But there was a shift in my demeanour
I thought you were a keeper
How naïve of me
I was chasing lost souls with my heart on my sleeve
Like a child on Christmas eve
Excitement, anticipation, expectations all wrapped in one
My energy is precious
Only sharing myself with those who feel right
Unfortunately, that’s no longer you
Thought I’d always be around
You took my love for granted.
Happiness stood before me, yet I was oblivious, focusing on hurt over joy. It’s a matter of the mind. When you shift your mentality, you can experience life from a new perspective. I got one baby, he’s the only one I answer to, he’s the reason I’m correcting my wrongs. I specialise in writing, expressing my thoughts through words. Letting go of every emotion, becoming free as a bird.
The next decade is dedicated to happiness, personal growth and shining with all those around me. Let’s raise our glasses and say goodbye to 2019. What are you looking forward to?